Wednesday, March 24, 2010


We have been waiting almost two weeks for the doctor appointment to meet our little "peanut" and additionally to tell our family. We were anticipating seeing what is beneath the growing "bump" and seeing how far along we were. Not so luck - since someone can't count at the ob/gyn's office, they scheduled the appointment too early and insurance won't float the bill until I'm 8 weeks along. So another two weeks.....we wait.

I cried.

I cried out of disappointment. I cried out of anger. I cried out of a fear - what if something still goes wrong in another two weeks. I felt crushed. "Peanut" is still growing inside me, so that shouldn't change anything - I was just SO excited to have it confirmed and be able to see our first sonogram of the little guy/gal that is growing inside me.

I'm already taking prenatal vitamins everyday. Balanced diet? I'm lucky to eat anything that doesn't make me want to throw up. Morning sickness? You ask? ALL DAY SICKNESS more like it. Not throwing up - although I've come very close, but I'm just nauseous all day long. With that and the cramps and already being tired, I'm so drained by the end of the day. Adam thinks I'm 'milking it', but I feel like sitting at work all day is at times unbearable.

It has definitely sunk in that I'm pregnant. We get it. Understanding and comprehending that in less than 9 months we will be taking home and be responsible for a tiny baby has not kicked in yet. When I used to babysit, I'd arrive at the home, have the instructions on what I needed to do sitting on the counter and the parents would be home by X:00 PM. Will we bring home the baby and think...."WHERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS?!" and "When are the parents coming to pick this baby up?!" Parents? Scary thought that currently isn't comprehensible. :)

Friday, March 19, 2010

Sinking In...

I has felt like the longest week of my life...and most likely, the next five days will be the same until we can see the doctor. I hold my breath at any strange feeling, fearing the worst. I check for blood in the bathroom, even when I don't make a trip in there to use the bathroom. I'm terrified of something happening. I know I won't be able to prevent it from happening anyway, but I'm just nervous as to what to expect. Adam is trying to tell me that I shouldn't get my hopes up, but my hopes are up...I have a life, an actual life, growing inside of me. As Carrie says in Sex and the City: "That's so sci-fi." I'm so curious to find out how far along I am - most likely just about 6 weeks, but perhaps a chance I'm more like 10 weeks.

Mostly I've been just feeling cramps this week. I've started snacking throughout the day because I've found that if I don't, I get a little quesy and dizzy. I lost 5 lbs since the last time I weighed myself and that worried me a little but the nurse I talked to reassured it wasn't a problem. I bought a pregnancy book that takes you thru each week and what is developing with the baby and what I would be feeling. I bought Adam a father-to-be book too! He's commented several times on "oh, that's what my book said you would do" or "my book said you'd think that." Haha...well he's learning. :)

We've told several more people now...well, I've told several more people and Adam has told like 4 people. Both immediate families are excited and I can't wait to be able to tell everyone!!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Two Lines!

I just saw the most shocking, unexpected, exciting, scary, happy thing of my entire life....two lines.

These weren't just any two lines...they were pink and on a very important test....I'm pregnant.

I've had paranoid fits before when I've thought I was pregnant and they prove to be just that - paranoid fits. Nothing more. I've taken home pregnancy tests before and always see one line and nothing more. I'm always thinking I'm dying of something, so I usually have that voice in the back of my head telling me that I'm crazy. Why did I decide to take a pregnancy test this morning?

My stomach hurt last week - just a little, kind of dull and uncomfortable. I mentioned it to my family March 5th, wondering what was wrong. Start of kidney stones? My normal stomach problems? Who knows. This week (3/9 - 3/12) I should start. After charting my NFP, I have been amazed at how regular my cycle was - exactly 28 days on the dot. I never paid too much attention to see how accurate and normal my body was. Today is day 30.

This weeks, I've had little cramps almost everyday. I knew I would be starting my period soon, so I'd buy a tampon, and then when I'd take it out....nothing.

I felt a wee bit emotional this week. I started a fight with Adam and let things get to me that I shouldn't have. I was mean to him and I love him. He's the man of my dreams. I didn't mean it and I wish I could take it back, but I couldn't hold back tears and my emotional crumble the other night.

Not sure if this a symptom or just my fatty-bo-batty emerging...I had a craving for ice cream last night so bad that I might have been willing to break the law to get some. Fatty-bo-batty talking??

Lastly, yesterday and a little this week, I've been tired. Maybe it's because I took a few days off working out? I could barely finish my workout class yesterday, I just felt lazy and tired (maybe just fatty-bo-batty here too?) I've been yawning at work all day long - that never happens!

That led me to this morning. I took the test, to ease my paranoia, except....the results were different than expected! I rubbed my eyes again - I had to have read it wrong. Adam was sleeping and I ran into the bedroom. "Adam, wake up, please" I said calmly. He was groggy and I could tell he didn't want to wake up. "I have a bit of an emergency, please!" He didn't want to open his eyes. "I just took the test and there are two lines!! You need to look!!" My hands were shaking and he couldn't believe the news he was hearing as he was coming out of his sleep.

He got the video camera and took a video of us to remember what just happened. I was still shaking. I still had to go to work!!

I had to call someone to tell them....I called Jaclyn. She'd keep my secret and I could tell her anything. Voicemail....shoot!

On the way to work, I bought another test at the store...and a lot of water to drink. In the bathroom at work, I received another positive - two lines again in the shape of a plus sign this time from another brand. I called Adam again!!

I called the doctor's office and told them I was pregnant and didn't know what I needed to do next - I scheduled an appointment in another 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS!? How am I supposed to keep this secret for another 2 weeks at least!? This will be the hardest thing ever. Can't wait for lunch with Adam to talk more about what has happened in only a few hours this morning that will be sure to change our life forever....


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