Pregnancy - the aftermath

Did you just have a baby?  You survived the long seventeen years nine months of pregnancy, you popped out a kid and you think you're done and all you have to do is raise your beautiful baby girl or boy.  You think since you survived those long months of pregnancy related side-effects, you are ready to go back to the way "things used to be."  Wrong!

If you are one of those people that gives birth and hops right into your pre-pregnancy clothes, try not to rub it in to the rest of us.  If you are one of those people that doesn't suffer from any of the following ailments post-pregnancy, this is not for you....and I repeat, try not to rub it in.....

1. Feet - Pregnant women tend to have swollen feet during pregnancy.  I didn't exactly have swollen feet....mine were more like hot air balloons on the bottom of my ankles.  I spent the last few months in flip flops because not even Frankenstein's boots would have covered those bad boys.  So a few weeks after pregnancy, when the swelling subsided, I was finally ready to get back into all my cute shoes.  Well call me a Cinderella's stepsister, because most of my shoe collection no longer fits.  So those few people that you may hear about that their feet permanently grow after pregnancy - yeah.....I got that....All those pretty shoes in my closet that don't serve a purpose anymore - OH THE HUMANITY!!!
2. Post-pregnancy brain - I know that some women get upset when people talk about "pregnancy brain."  I don't think people are trying to insult pregnant women, only merely point out that their minds might not be working as effectively.  Whether the flood of hormones is overtaking parts of it or you are too busy googling every random symptom you have or picking out crib bedding to pay attention to other things, either way, things might be fuzzy.  Is it just me or is post-pregnancy a legitimate thing too?  I guess this is what is meant by "mommy brain."  How can I be searching all over my car for my sunglasses to find they are on my head?  How can I forget what day of the week it is?  No, seriously...what day is it?
3. Sleep - Is an explanation necessary here?  You just had a baby...sleep is a pastime.  In the 3rd trimester, people cruelly tell you "Hurry and get sleep while you still can!"  That is cruel because in the 3rd trimester, with the round ligament pains, hip pains, peeing every 30 seconds, hot flashes and Braxton-Hicks contractions, it's a wonder you got any sleep at all.  And as you would expect, little junior you just birthed is up and ready to eat, regardless of what sleep you would like to get.  Unlike my enormous feet, this at least gets better with time....
4. Hot flashes -  Yes, I was the pregnant woman wearing flip flops (because my feet were huge) without a coat (because my belly everything was huge) in 40 degree weather and was still sweating.  Now that my hormones are under control, this is much better, but I feel like I'm still HOT!  What up?!
5. Period - There's a silver lining to all this pregnancy and post-pregnancy madness - NO PERIOD!  This is Mother Nature's piddly consolation prize for the other torture fun times you have endured growing your human.  However, don't get excited yet.  When is it going to start back?  There's no telling.  That means you might want to start stocking up some feminine protection in your purse again.  Since, over the last 9 months, you've probably given away all your tampons to your girlfriends who weren't in a delicate state, you might be the unsuspecting fool when Aunt Flo decides to come to town. 

Are we having fun yet?  HA!

What weird changes have you experienced that you didn't expect?

[Note:  I say these things in jest.  Every bit of pregnancy and post-pregnancy is absolutely worth it when you give birth to your peeing, pooping, cooing, smiling, chubby, curious, adorably baby and your heart bursts ]

Growing a Human - 3rd Trimester

Being as I'm in the very late stages of the 3rd trimester - I might not be as kind towards this trimester, being as it is what is ailing me at this particular time.  It all starts off fine and dandy - rainbows and sunshine and glowing still lingering from the 2nd trimester.  Then it ends with your beautiful baby (which I am still eagerly awaiting!).  Anticipation is growing.....your belly is growing.....your rear end is probably growing....

• If it wasn't obvious already, your belly clearly gives it away now - you are pregnant.  For me, people have been telling me I look like I'm "about to pop" since about 30 weeks.  Only slightly discouraging when I had to clarify that I wasn't due for over two more months.  HA!
• If you are lucky enough that your stretch marks have held off until this trimester, there is a good chance they are appearing now.  Unless you are one of those women that doesn't get any...and if that's the case, then I don't wanna talk to you about it.  HA! 
•  This is probably about the time for finishing up baby's room if you haven't already!  For me it was hanging pictures and decals, washing and putting away baby clothes, putting away his toys and books, playing all the wind-up toys that played lullabies and talking to William while doing it all!  Each day I'll peak my head in the door and imagine putting my baby boy to bed and rocking him to sleep and reading as a family in that room...can't wait!
• Those HUGE maternity clothes that I contemplated taking back for a smaller size....yeah those....ummm, barely fitting anymore.  Unless showing off the bottom of my belly has somehow become appropriate.....
• Umm....what ankles?  Swelling may strike at any point in this trimester and you may dream of the days that your feet and calves were completely separated by lovely, dainty ankles.  Those were the days - when your shoes fit and ankles were free to bend as usual without all the swelling....
• Can you still bend at the waist?  Enjoy it while you can.  Soon enough you'll have a bowling ball growing from your belly and the days of picking things up off the floor, tying your shoes or being able to hug your significant other up close will be history.  HA!
• Hello, discomfort.  Good-bye, sleep.  Until the later parts of the 3rd trimester, I figured the worst thing someone could say to a pregnant woman was something regarding how huge she was.  So wrong - the phrase "Get sleep while you still can" is actually the meanest thing.  Between having to pee 100 times in the middle of the night and the horrible leg pains, hip pains, pelvis pains, anxiety about the fact that you are about to be a parent....sleep isn't even something you look forward to anymore.  The thought that sleep once baby is born will be even less creates more anxiety, which causes less sleep....a vicious cycle!  hehe
• You're sure that your bladder is now the size of a grape.  If it were bigger than that, you would not have to pee this many times a day.  You might notice you have to go until you stand and a 10 lb watermelon drops completely on the bladder and then it's "Get out of my way!!!  Bathroom needed now!"
• Little baby kicks have now turned into big baby jumping jacks!  I am still in love with this!  I could just stare at my belly and watch William moving around in there.  That's my baby boy!!

As much as I can complain of the discomfort around this point and finally understanding the get-this-baby-out-of-me mentality that you commonly hear from super prego women, I know I will probably miss being pregnant.  I have been blessed with a very healthy pregnancy and will be meeting my son in less than days!  The amount of love and support extended by our family and friends has been absolutely amazing.  Knowing we have such an extended support system around us warms my heart.  William is coming....... 

Growing a Human - 2nd Trimester

Trying to think back, the 2nd trimester seems like a bit of a blur.  As "uneventful" as "growing a human" can be - it was the months spent "glowing" (as my husband would call it).  I had survived the 1st trimester and things were still healthy and smooth sailing!  I would have to call the 2nd trimester the "I'm feelin' good trimester" - morning sickness ended and I was still months away from the discomforts of the later parts of pregnancy.  Enjoy!!

• Yay!!  I can finally stay up past 9 pm again!!  It was almost like a light switch that someone flipped and I started feeling better and the extreme exhaustion started to wear off.  I had survived!! [If you are not one of the fortunate ones that morning sickness fades after the 1st trimester....I am so sorry!!  HA!]
• I started noticing a little belly.  It started as only noticeable to me under my clothes and then started to grow.  This is when it becomes the "in-between, awkward belly stage."  People will wonder "Is she pregnant or has she just starting to 'let go' a little after a year of marriage."  HA!
• Anticipating all doctor appointments!!  In the early trimester, when I couldn't feel the baby moving yet, I would look forward to my OB appointments with great anticipation just to be able to hear that wonderful sound of the heartbeat!  Such a comforting feeling!
• I must have gas.....or could it be?  Is that the baby moving in there?  I'm pretty sure I had been feeling baby's movements for weeks before I actually figured out that's what it was.  Everyone describes it as something different - I thought it felt like a very mild muscle twitch. 
• Boy or Girl??  Not finding out wasn't an option!  I'm the kind of person that buys Christmas presents and can barely wait another 24 hours before wanting to hand them out because I get so excited!  When we found our little one was a boy, it was the beginning of what I would consider "bonding" with him.  That was our son in there, kicking and growing.  Our William! 
• Eat fiber.....NOW!  Do not find out the hard way that your digestive system isn't the same as it was pre-pregnancy.  I don't think this needs any further explanation - eat your fiber.  hehe

Overall, the 2nd trimester wasn't all that "eventful."  I felt great and it was easy to sit back and enjoy being pregnant! 

Growing a Human - 1st Trimester

If I had to sum of the 1st trimester using only a few words:  tired, saltine crackers, disbelief.

Understanding that everyone has a very different experience while pregnant - here is my advice for surviving the first couple months.

• You will probably be more tired than you've ever felt in your entire life....starting being okay with a 7:30pm bedtime.
• If you are like most other women and suffer from morning sickness - start keeping a sleeve of saltine crackers on your nightstand.  Eat them....before you even lift your head in the morning and know you might need them before going to bed at night.  I never threw up, but had nausea from morning until night.  Although crackers helped - find the food or snack that settles your stomach!  I've heard anything from ginger ale, preggie pops or lemonheads.  For some strange reason, sour patch kids helped me - not sure if it was the sugar or sour taste....I ate lots!
• Another morning sickness related one - Stop buying stinky food immediately!!  And have your hubby or SO or someone take the trash out...often!  Smelling just about anything was enough to send me running to the bathroom in dry heaves....too much info?  HA!  There were days I would come home from work and spend the evening in the bedroom....as far away from the fridge and garbage and pantry that I possibly could!
• Have a 'puking action plan' - OK, this might seem a bit ridiculous.  Although I did not ever puke, I remember sitting in meetings at work (keep in mind I hadn't told anyone at work the news yet....) and trying to sit close to the garbage can and close to the door.  I had an elaborate game plan on exactly what I would do if the need to hurl came - grab the garbage can, run out of room, know where nearest restroom was, return to meeting and pretend like nothing happened......that should about do it, right??  HA!
• Stock up on antacids.  I had heartburn start in the 1st trimester and along with the nausea - this wasn't cool.  [make sure too check with your doctor on what you should or should not take!]
• OH!  No one told me and I had no idea that having to pee all the time starts in the 1st trimester!!  Who knew?  Until the baby grows big enough and you "pop" out of your pelvis, that's just more pressure on your bladder.  [and then it gets better after you "pop" and so much worse in the 3rd trimester!  HA!]
• Let it sink in!  You are pregnant!  You have a tiny heart beating inside you!  Although you still might be starting everyday in complete disbelief....believe it!!!

Growing a Human - Whoa...I'm Pregnant!!!

Cramps....sore boobs....no period.....what's up???

I guess I had always envisioned figuring out I was pregnant after hanging my head in a toilet from morning sickness.  So without even a little dabble of morning sickness (......yet.....), I wasn't thinking too much of it.  Two days late on my period....I began to wonder.

I had a pregnancy test hiding in my bathroom closet (one left from a box of two from previously wondering if I was pregnant).  It was about 6:00am on Friday, March 12th.  I woke up to get ready for work and decided to settle my paranoia and pee on a stick....

......I'm pretty sure I had to rub my eyes twice and a third time and a fourth.  I must still be sleepy and I'm imagining those two lines that just appeared.  I grabbed the box - maybe I wasn't exactly even sure how to read this thing.  I'm still sitting on the toilet with my underwear around my ankles.  What exactly does one do now?  I figured the best thing was to wipe, flush, wash my hands and then.....go wake the father of my baby. 

"Umm, Adam.....wake up, please......Adam?  I need to you to wake up, please.  I may have just taken a very important test and I need so share the results.......Adam???  Please, wake up!!!"

This method was barely even effective in getting him to roll away from me to fall back asleep.  I needed another tactic. 

The most effective way of waking up a man out of a dead sleep?.....only three words are needed:  "Babe, I'm pregnant."

The rest of the morning was a blur.  My hands were shaking and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.  Adam grabbed the video camera and asked me a few questions and captured some footage of the magical pregnancy test - as magical as a plastic stick that I had recently peed on can be.  I still had to go to work!!

I grabbed another test on the way to work and took it alone in a stall.  Another positive!!  I called Adam - still unable to wipe the same smile off my face.  We were pregnant!

Growing a Human - My Take

As my pregnancy inches toward an end, I felt inclined to take a few entries to be able to document my own experience with growing my first little one.  Because looking back at a lot that has happened over that last nine months pretty much makes me laugh - I'm going to just make bulleted points and highlights of the 'holy-shit' moments or thoughts or lessons that I've experienced myself during this time.  So coming up next week - I'll plan on breaking out the trimesters and milestones each day!  Kind of like a countdown to the scheduled DELIVERY DATE!!!!

Stay tuned!!!