Disappointment

We have been waiting almost two weeks for the doctor appointment to meet our little "peanut" and additionally to tell our family. We were anticipating seeing what is beneath the growing "bump" and seeing how far along we were. Not so luck - since someone can't count at the ob/gyn's office, they scheduled the appointment too early and insurance won't float the bill until I'm 8 weeks along. So another two weeks.....we wait.

I cried.

I cried out of disappointment. I cried out of anger. I cried out of a fear - what if something still goes wrong in another two weeks. I felt crushed. "Peanut" is still growing inside me, so that shouldn't change anything - I was just SO excited to have it confirmed and be able to see our first sonogram of the little guy/gal that is growing inside me.

I'm already taking prenatal vitamins everyday. Balanced diet? I'm lucky to eat anything that doesn't make me want to throw up. Morning sickness? You ask? ALL DAY SICKNESS more like it. Not throwing up - although I've come very close, but I'm just nauseous all day long. With that and the cramps and already being tired, I'm so drained by the end of the day. Adam thinks I'm 'milking it', but I feel like sitting at work all day is at times unbearable.

It has definitely sunk in that I'm pregnant. We get it. Understanding and comprehending that in less than 9 months we will be taking home and be responsible for a tiny baby has not kicked in yet. When I used to babysit, I'd arrive at the home, have the instructions on what I needed to do sitting on the counter and the parents would be home by X:00 PM. Will we bring home the baby and think...."WHERE ARE THE INSTRUCTIONS?!" and "When are the parents coming to pick this baby up?!" Parents? Scary thought that currently isn't comprehensible. :)