I'm an agent...

When you have a kid, you become that kid's agent, so to speak. You figure out what cool tricks and talents they have and then you don't hesitate to show...well....everyone. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, random guy in the cereal aisle at the grocery, nurses at the doctor office. Everyone needs to see the sweet shit your kid can do.

My kid is obviously the first kid of all time to be able to hold a cell phone up to his ear and mumble gibberish like he's talking on the phone. Or when he's in a particularly cute mood, he will hold up a hair brush or banana and pretend to talk on that. My kid is not only a genius but the cutest one ever. He's so into thinking outside the box.

Then it's his ability to say not only one, not two, but three whole words! I'm not entirely convinced he knows what any of the three mean, but he can repeat after me and appears to be the smartest baby on the planet. "William, wave to the nice lady and say 'Hi, baby', to her daughter. Go ahead, 'hi, baby.' Say it!" He obliges and I just glow that, yup, my kid....can talk! Like, with actual words!

Not only is he mentally sharp, but he physically has an advantage, I'm sure of it. He has been pulling himself up since seven months. Well, no, he doesn't walk yet, but I'm sure only because he wants to make sure he excels when he finally starts. However, my kid can climb stairs (cough, has since about nine months, cough cough). And...wait for it....he can go down stairs! [wait for applause] Go ahead, William, show them how it's done.

Well, you get the idea. I realize I'm being like all the other loon parents out there (yes, even you probably) who likes to show off all the cool things their kid can do....

"Hello?  Can you hear me now?"