However, there are tasks that you become capable of doing once you become a parent that you may have thought could only be achieved by magicians and optical illusions.
- How many ways can I get my boob out of my shirt - If the baby is hungry, the baby is hungry NOW! He does not have time to wait for you to figure out how to discreetly get your boob available for his meal. GET-IT-OUT-NOW! I've learned a good number of tricks to being able to nurse in any given outfit that I might dress myself in that day and in just about any position you can throw at me without revealing my goods to the entire world. BRING IT!
- Mary Poppins-ish diaper bag - You think Mary Poppins had a lot in her bag, check out the diaper bags that my husband and I are capable of packing. Packing a diaper bag is tricky business - How many diapers do we need? Remember to pack the wipes. I packed a change of outfit. But what if he needs ANOTHER outfit? I better to pack another, just in case. Even though he doesn't like pacifiers, I better pack one just in case he spontaneously decides he likes one while we are out. His butt looks clear but better pack the diaper cream. He's four months old and his hand is enough to keep him entertained, but we gotta be sure to pack a toy...OK
twothree toys just in case his hand is unavailable. Grab a blanket, just in case and it can double as a nursing cover. Hand sanitizer, for the love of all that is holy, don't forget the hand sanitizer. Burp cloth...two or three. OK, you get the point. It's ridiculous.
- Changing a diaper...ANYWHERE - The first time we had to change lil' man's diaper away from home (at home we have a nice changing table) the words "Where do we change him?" actually came out of my husband's mouth. Oh, how far we have come in just a few short months. Give me about three square inches of space and we are probably able to change him. Short of actually holding him vertical and changing his diaper mid-air (which I'm sure plenty of people have done), we have done it all and could be creative enough to figure it out.
- The 6-armed parent - After becoming a parent, you have developed the ability to hold ten things, move two others, pick-up something else, while throwing away garbage, while taking a picture and rock the baby and at the same time make a bottle....all simultaneously. OK, perhaps I'm slightly exaggerating. But basically you become able to multi-task with your hands, your elbows, your knees, your chin, your toes.