Today I am sad. The time has come when we have had to have infant formula added to our grocery list. Lil' man and me have made it eight months, one week and six days with breastfeeding and my supply has dropped to the point where we are needing to supplement.
If you would have asked me nine months ago how this would make me feel, I don't think I would have thought anything of it. But now? After eight and a half months of bonding and putting in the effort to make breastfeeding work, I'm crushed.
I understand this does not make me a bad mother. I understand I should be happy to have made it this far. I understand that William and I will continue to bond in other ways and I will continue to try to nurse and pump as much as I am able to get him some of my milk. Even knowing this, why is it still breaking my heart?
Breastfeeding has been one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever had in my life. It has evolved as William has grown and starting to wean him will be just one of the other million signs that he is growing up. I will miss the time we have gotten to spend together during the day and at all hours of the night. (yes, even then)