Friday, October 8, 2010

Signs you are Ginormously Pregnant

So now that I'm 34 weeks pregnant (while being the size of someone that has been growing a baby for nine years), I've become an expert on being huge and understanding the signs that allow me to realize this.  Here is what I've learned......
  1. EVERYTHING you sit on/in (ie. chair, car, couch, toilet seat, bed, husband's lap, etc.) makes a noise (ie. groaning, squeaking, cracking sound) upon sitting on it.
  2. You could drop money and depending on the total amount, you might be content leaving it for someone else to pick up instead of working up the energy to bend over and pick it up yourself.
  3. People politely smile at you with the oh-honey-you-look-huge-and-you-must-have-seventeen-babies-in-there-or-are-10-weeks-overdue eyes.
  4. No matter what you wear, the bottom of your belly is starting to hang out of the bottom of EVERYTHING....even the maternity clothes that you thought you would never be able to fill a few months ago.
  5. You are still able to walk, so you comprehend that you still have legs and feet....you just have to see them second-hand now, like in pictures or in the mirror.....
  6. You sit in the most un-ladylike position, with your legs spread apart to allow room for your belly....and you don't even care anymore.
  7. Your husband tells you "Good job, babe" after successfully putting on your underwear - like THIS is a major accomplishment in your day.  (haha - seriously Adam did this yesterday.  I think he's entertained watching me try to get dressed in the morning)
  8. It's 40 degrees outside and you are content wearing flip flops because there is no way that you are going to attempt to put on socks and shoes.
  9. You can now use your belly as a table - need an extra spot to fold laundry or place an iced beverage....look no further....
  10. The driver's seat in your car is set so far back that your arms can barely reach and every time you drive you get the song "Low Rider" stuck in your head....

7 comments:

caryl.mqt said...

Steph, you are starting to rival Erma Bombeck with your posts!

A Fairy Good Mommy said...

Following you from your Friday Following...

Hope you have time to stop by sometime, plus please remember to enter your linky's on my Touchdown Sunday Follow.

Amanda - Fairy Good Mommy
http://fairygoodmommy.com

Colie's Kitchen said...

Congrats on William being on the way. I THINK I am pregnant (my first too) I am taking a test tomorrow!! BTW I am Nicole from ColiesKitchen.com I found you on a blog hop and wanted to drop by and say hi. I really like your blog, and am now a new follower. I would love to have you stop by Colie’s Kitchen if you get a chance.

Busy Buzzer said...

Thanks for linking up on Following Friday! I hope you are meeting some great new bloggers and following them! Have a great weekend!

~ Busy Buzzer
Buzzing the Day Away

Belly Charms said...

Congrats and you are too funny. Underwear is an accomplishment. I am following you back and I look forward to keeping up with you.

Kim@Chubby Cheeks Thinks said...

Thanks so much for stopping by! I'm following you back! :)

Tenacious V said...

Ha ha, love the list! I used to use my baby bump to store shampoo while I was in the shower. Also as a shelf to read from. :-)

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