Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dreading Monday

In less than 24 hours, it will be a very sad day. After over seven weeks off with vacation, maternity leave and the Christmas holiday, I will be heading back to work.

Although I am looking forward to working again and catching up on my work from my time off, the very thought of leaving William for nearly ten hours a day is enough to split my heart in half. Since Adam is in school and only has classes in afternoons, he will be able to take care of William during the day and Adam's mom and dad will be able to watch him in the afternoons. I'm thankful that we don't have to send William to daycare, but at the same time, it breaks my heart that I'm not able to stay home with him.

In only seven weeks, he has changed so much and I hate to let him go to miss even a second of it. I'm very thankful that I have the ability to take even seven weeks (all paid) off to spend with Adam and Liam. I'm just broken-hearted to see it finally over.

Starting back to work will absolutely be an adjustment - I will definitely be going in each day on a lot less sleep. Getting ready in the morning and having to change and nurse William will be much more hectic for my morning routine. Pumping several times during the day (I'm determined to continue breastfeeding even when I start back!) will take some getting used to - I will have to be much more efficient with my work to make this happen. Coordinating William's care and when I get off and picking him up in the afternoons will add another step in my daily routine. None of this is the end of the world - just an adjustment.

Even the very thought of waking up tomorrow morning, to hand William off to my hubby for the day, brings tears to my eyes. I know he'll be just fine....but I might have a missing piece of me during the day....

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